February is Black History Month; a trivial dedication of 29, but usually 28, days to celebrate the history of an entire race of people. (really though, who picked February- the runt of the month litter?) Then in March, we dedicate the same nominal amount of time (plus 2-3 extra days) to celebrate the history of half the planet. Are you catching my drift? If not, The Onion said it best with their article on White History Year; the distribution of ethnically, culturally, and sexually diverse temporal celebrations is far from equal. Just look at this list of Month-type celebrations I've compiled.
Look at that. December and January are left empty, meanwhile we're cramming March to the brim. (granted- if you happen to be a hairy Mediterranean woman with redhair and a drinking problem this is quite convenient, but we can't all be so lucky [Hi Elise!]) Being the civil and kind man that I am, I sat down one night, had a few drinks, and devised a revised surprised ingenuitized yearly calendar of celebrations. Behold the end-result:
By doing away with the so-called "white people" cultural celebrations, we can see a much more distributed belittling of peoples. Now everyone gets patronized with an equally offensive fleeting focus (except white, land-owning males; we still call dibs on the whole year)
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