Congress Votes to Raise the Bullshit Ceiling
(Washington, DC)--Freshman Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Etard) has authored a bill in the House that would raise the level of Bullshit Congress is allow to produce. In an enigmatic statement at a recent press conference, Chaffetz remarked:
“I. WILL. NOT. VOTE. FOR. ANY. PLAN. HAVE. TAXES.” he then added, “JOBS. [cheers] FREEDOM. [cheers] AMERICA. [cheers] EAGLES. [hesitant cheers] RACE CARS [confused silence, follow by Rep. Chaffetz pretending to drive a car]"The plan has received wide-spread backing from Tea Party activists, as well as coprophiliacs. The House contends that if the Bullshit Ceiling is not raised by the August 2nd deadline, there is a chance that the capital may back-up and overflow large quantities of bullshit.
One of the most outspoken supporters of the bill, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Equiringinstitutionalization), has stressed a personal desire for the bill to be passed before her presidential campaign gets into full swing.
This post does not, and will not reflect bullshit. Conservative voters are redirecting their votes toward forwarding politically attractive candidates to represent them. Previously they placed a clear demarcation line between Democrats, exemplified by the physical attributes of Barbara Mikulski and Hillary Clinton, and Republicans, as represented by Ann Coulter, the quintissential smart blonde (she has to be smart, having successfully lightened the wallets of millions of gullible dittoheads. However, given the ravages of age, conservatives have been flocking to younger, more attractive candidates - Sarah Palin, self-appointed Queen of the Bubbas, and Michele Bachman. Conservatives can now have have both their priorities straight - their weenies and candidates that are not at all taxing to voters. Duh
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