Justice for Justice

Generally, I try to stay away from headline news as much as possible. Mostly because it depresses me to see what gets the most attention in this country. But try as I might, I was exposed to the Casey Anthony trial on Google news. Now, twelfth-trimester abortions aside, I’d like to take a minute to talk about the real issue here: why this goblin is being granted the rights of men.

Royal bloodlines aside (i.e., Jareth the Goblin King) goblins are a singularly unpleasant and unattractive race; however, this alone is not cause to exempt them from due process. No, it is their historic associations with evil powers (the forces of Sauron, the unicorn-slayers from Legend, Michele Bachmann’s Political Action Committee) and their general disregard for the law of the land leaves them a disgusting population not worthy of justice by “peers”.  So I ask again; why? Why is the goblin using the human-name “Casey Anthony” being given a trial by jury? Perhaps her goblin tribe’s shaman made a deal with the municipality for some kind of publicity/merchandizing deal- I don’t know. What I DO know is that goblins do NOT belong in courts (or indoors for that matter) and they do NOT belong on the cover of every newspaper, glaring at you with their beady little goblin-eyes. This is why trial-by-ordeal was invented people. I don’t want to see three-piece suits and closing arguments; I want- NAY- need to see water-cages, boiling oil, and geese placed on scales.

I sincerely hope this is the exception, rather than a new standard that will grant human rights to all manner of beast and fowl, that would surely throw society into a downward moral-spiral, ultimately ending in humans being reduced to pack-animals, ridden by orcs and lizard-men. When that day comes…may Akatosh have mercy on our souls…