Me = Feminist

I’ve taken up a new cause. Today I am helping shatter the ‘glass ceiling’ by moving to replace all sports metaphors in the workplace with Star Wars references.

Instead of “Wow Glen- you really knocked that one out of the park!” it should now be “Wow Glen- you really blew up that Deathstar!”

Sports have an inherent masculinity and fundamental framework that constantly pits one person or team against another; thus reducing synergy. Star Wars on the other hand, is the great equalizer of our generation; anyone can watch, enjoy and then recite lines without alienating or embarrassing anyone. Let’s look at a few more examples:

Example 1

"Did you see Ken’s market-research presentation? It was par for the course…”

Becomes: “Did you see Ken’s market-research presentation? It was your basic R5-D4 astromech…”

 Example 2

“I don’t envy your situation Beth…that’s a real 7-10 split.”

Becomes: “I don’t envy your situation Beth…the odds of successfully navigating that asteroid field are approximately 3720 to 1.”

Example 3

 “Oscar- you close the account with an alley-oop to Tom.”

Becomes: “Oscar, you close the account with a Han-Solo-saves-Luke’s-X-Wing-when-he-was-targeted-by-Darth Vader to Tom.”

Example 4

“I can’t believe Cheryl actually said ‘The advent of breast augmentation has really leveled the playing field for women.”

Becomes: “I can’t believe Cheryl actually said ‘The advent of breast augmentation has really deactivated the shield generators for women.”

Example 5

“You’re leaving us for an IT position at Microsoft? Way to pull a ‘LeBron James’ ASSHOLE.”

Becomes: “You’re leaving us for an IT position at Microsoft? Way to pull a ‘Lando Calrissian’ NERFHERDER.”

So go ahead and try these out the next time you're at the copier, water cooler, or even just riding in the elevator. Who knows, maybe- just maybe- together we can make the world a better place.