Dingo Soccer England Unicorn

Being a commuter (or a “Beltway Bandit” as none would say) I spend a lot of time in the car. Most of which occurs at slow to no speeds. So in order to maintain sanity, I have three possible choices: listen to my iPod, sever my ties to reality and slowly spiral into a delusional fantasy world, or listen to the radio. We’ll talk about the first two later. They’re beside the point anyway. The radio is a device that picks up electromagnetic waves transmitted at pre-determined frequencies from broadcast towers, so that everyone can hear the same six songs, uninspired social commentary, but most of all, an endless onslaught of advertisements. Now I could go on about the ocean of bad ads on the radio, but frankly, I prefer a more challenging target; enter NPR.

National Public Radio has my favorite advertisements. Because they assume their listeners are more… refined than the average folk (ha, suckersssss) they sell their ad time to a lot of big-name corporations: Intel, Boeing, Lockheed-Martin, ect. Now what I love about these ads, or as they’re technically called “underwriting spots”, is that they’re all structured around one core principle: use as many buzzwords in 30 seconds as is grammatically possible. One of my favorite ad-producers is the company General Dynamics Information Technology. If the company’s name itself isn’t enough to get you synergized, they describe themselves as “A top tier integrator of mission-critical IT systems.” And then there’s Raytheon. With such gems as: “Raytheon, committed to delivering integrated, customized, life-cycle Mission Support solutions for customers around the globe.” and my personal favourite, “Raytheon, committed to Global ISR solutions that provide situational awareness and intelligence for tactical and strategic objectives.” It’s as if they had a list of buzzwords, and just went down circling which ones tangentially fit their company.


This brings me to the main reason for this post; Dynamic System Enterprises United.



Founded in 2011, after visiting the Wikipedia page on “buzzwords”, DSEU is an employee-owned, privately-traded, translucently-open business entity. Here's the official description from the would-be website:

“Dynamic System Enterprises United: A Client-Centered Consulting Firm Committed to Next-Generation Information Analytics and Strategic Resource Allocation

With a combined experience of over 40 years, it’s no wonder that more people trust DSEU with their operational and mission critical issues. Using a synergy-based approach, our team members utilize state-of-the-art techniques and resources to ensure effective and sustainable paradigm shifts that help foster Your Company- 2.0

Services Offered Include:

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  Critical Document Management and Data Streamlining


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  Holistic Business-to-Customer Relations


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  Enhancing User-Based Interpersonal Communication Systems


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  Content Digitization and Workflow Optimization


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  Goal-Oriented Organic Growth Solutions


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  Aggregated Modernization for Modular-Based Global Economics
  

At DSEU, we help you, help us reach yesterday's tomorrow- today."