Being a commuter (or a “Beltway Bandit” as none would say) I spend a lot of time in the car. Most of which occurs at slow to no speeds. So in order to maintain sanity, I have three possible choices: listen to my iPod, sever my ties to reality and slowly spiral into a delusional fantasy world, or listen to the radio. We’ll talk about the first two later. They’re beside the point anyway. The radio is a device that picks up electromagnetic waves transmitted at pre-determined frequencies from broadcast towers, so that everyone can hear the same six songs, uninspired social commentary, but most of all, an endless onslaught of advertisements. Now I could go on about the ocean of bad ads on the radio, but frankly, I prefer a more challenging target; enter NPR.
National Public Radio has my favorite advertisements. Because they assume their listeners are more… refined than the average folk (ha, suckersssss) they sell their ad time to a lot of big-name corporations: Intel, Boeing, Lockheed-Martin, ect. Now what I love about these ads, or as they’re technically called “underwriting spots”, is that they’re all structured around one core principle: use as many buzzwords in 30 seconds as is grammatically possible. One of my favorite ad-producers is the company General Dynamics Information Technology. If the company’s name itself isn’t enough to get you synergized, they describe themselves as “
A top tier integrator of mission-critical IT systems.” And then there’s Raytheon. With such gems as: “
Raytheon, committed to delivering integrated, customized, life-cycle Mission Support solutions for customers around the globe.” and my personal favourite, “
Raytheon, committed to Global ISR solutions that provide situational awareness and intelligence for tactical and strategic objectives.” It’s as if they had a list of buzzwords, and just went down circling which ones tangentially fit their company.
This brings me to the main reason for this post; Dynamic System Enterprises United.
Founded in 2011, after visiting the Wikipedia page on “buzzwords”, DSEU is an employee-owned, privately-traded, translucently-open business entity. Here's the official description from the would-be website:
“Dynamic System Enterprises United: A Client-Centered Consulting Firm Committed to Next-Generation Information Analytics and Strategic Resource Allocation
With a combined experience of over 40 years, it’s no wonder that more people trust DSEU with their operational and mission critical issues. Using a synergy-based approach, our team members utilize state-of-the-art techniques and resources to ensure effective and sustainable paradigm shifts that help foster Your Company- 2.0
Services Offered Include:
Critical Document Management and Data Streamlining
Holistic Business-to-Customer Relations
Enhancing User-Based Interpersonal Communication Systems
Content Digitization and Workflow Optimization
Goal-Oriented Organic Growth Solutions
Aggregated Modernization for Modular-Based Global Economics
At DSEU, we help you, help us reach yesterday's tomorrow- today."
