LDLiEU #2

Today's LDLiEU is a less common phrase, although the loss of the literal meaning is nonetheless tragic; firewall. Literally, it refers to a colossal and insurmountable wall of flames, erected to protect some place or asset. In today's everyday use, it most commonly refers to a system of  computer security protocols, which can be reduced to a series of 1's and 0's.

Clearly there are some delusions of grandeur.

If You Enjoyed That Video...

I really don’t like YouTube. It’s got to be one of the most overrated, disorganized and inefficient forums within the social-media-industrial-complex (i.e., Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Blogger, CatF*cker.com). I mean, even Twitter allows you to filter out the gallons and gallons of liquid horse shit out there (though if you ever want to dip a toe, just click some of the trending hashtags). But try as I might, every time I search for something on YouTube, all I get is a fat, sweaty orgy full of things I really don’t want to see. Much like an actual fat, sweaty orgy.

I just don’t understand how a company owned by Google (the world’s #1 search engine) can be so obtuse and difficult to navigate. Even porn sites have better search filters. There needs to be a series of advanced search options like Don’t Show Me Videos of Jackasses Talking to Their Webcams or Filter Out All Videos Over 3 Minutes, but less than 20 Minutes Because Those Don’t Belong on YouTube, Goddamnit. Also, music videos: literally no one, in all of existence, wants to see a teenage hipster play an acoustic cover of any song. Ever.  

YouTube may be a catylyst of free speech, but when that speech involves everything and everyone is simultaneously screaming “Hey- look at me!,” I think I’d prefer silence.

I Am Not a Hendecagon

On it's own, the statement "I plan on getting in a car accident" is either quite pessimistic, or slightly deranged. However, when juxtaposed with the alternative ("I don't plan on getting in a car accident") it suddenly becomes the more reasonable of the two; emanating less arrogance and naivety, and more practicallity.

Moral of the story: I make sense when compared to M-theory.