A Vague Reference To the Post's Theme...

I’ve been blogging long enough that I feel I should let my loyal reader see up my blog’s metaphorical skirt, and get a glimpse of how the magic happens.

First, I use a categorically pessimistic outlook on life to find some topic that is slightly unfavorable to me. I take said topic, and attack it from an extreme (and often silly!) position; usually expressing a fanatical religious or social overtone.

I go on to ask a series of rhetorical questions (which—let me tell you, are total softballs) which I answer in statements made only to further my otherwise-indefensible viewpoint. I try to work in a topical reference, or allude to some nominal current event, but I like to stay as far away from quote ‘facts’ un-quote as I can.

Somewhere in the post, I usually provide the reader with a series of examples to support my point. Usually three; the first two being somewhat reasonable, albeit slightly off, and then I like to make the third example an absurd contrast. The trick is to maintain a dead-pan writing style, so as to never break the illusion of being a cynical asshole.

Occasionally I’ll add a chart or picture I drew in MS Paint, or I’ll post some picture (usually whatever was the top hit from a casual Google Image search). Other times I’ll create a fake transcript or new story, ascribing it to an outside source. I almost always get bored or stop caring toward the end of a post, and usually run out of steam, resulting in a half-assed and abrupt ending.