[Insert Some Kind of Chicken and Egg Joke Involving Twitter]

I signed up for Twitter (@MaxxxKok). I'm having a hard time adjusting to the 140 character limit they impose on my "tweets". First of all, it encourages people not to use proper punctuation and grammar (since the first casualties of syntax-space are apostrophes) which in turn propagates overall devolution of the English language (which, for the record, does not need further advancement). Next, this place is worse than MySpace in terms of fake porn stars and ‘hot chicks’ that try to latch onto you; and the privacy settings are basically all or nothing (a suggestion, include a “NO PAINFULLY-OBVIOUS FAKE SLUTS” option)

I’ve heard Twitter called the ‘voice of the people’ and how it facilitated the Arab Spring hijinks and whatnot, but I’m seeing that little blue bird for what it really is: an oppressive avian tyrant, hell-bent on turning the world into poorly-versed simpletons who are controlled by a propaganda-weaving tribunal of fabricated soft-core starlets.