Friday, January 6, 2012

Breaking a MENTAL Sweat

I enjoy when a product boasts vague endorsements in an attempt to legitimize their product. Huh? Expand on that. For instance, Gatorade has the slogan “For Athletes, By Athletes” which, at least on face value sounds reasonable. Hell, stick that next to a picture of LeBron James or whoever is the playvor of the week, and you’ll have a bona fide ad campaign. But call me skeptical, but I’m having a hard time picturing Peyton Manning in a lab coat, furiously scrawling notes on how to make Riptide Rush even more Rushed.

The problem is that the label “athlete” is vague to the point of meaninglessness. You play ping pong? ATHLETE. You occasionally jog? ATHLETE. You play one season of tennis in high school, but still have the racket somewhere? ATHLETE. I even consider myself an athlete; given how furiously I masturbate. You could do the ‘For _____ by _____’ in almost any circumstance. How bout a brand of pens “For Artists, By Artists”? Or clothing made “For Us, By Us”? No one would ever use such ridiculosterous advertising! Now, I feel the need to clarify that certain endorsement claims should be respected. If one finds a calculator made “For Mathletes, By Mathletes”, the specificity of those proficient in Mathletics should be given its’ due. I mean, they’re out there giving 100% despite the risk of Mathletes’ Foot, or crippling injuries.

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