Mii, Miiself, and Ii

I've always enjoyed video games. Who doesn't? Oh, pretty girls you say? Right, well...their loss. From as far back as I can remember, I've enjoyed a good round of Double Dragon. But in the recent years, I become infatuated with gaming to the point whereupon the new generation of consoles came out (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii) I went cold turkey and refused to buy one.

This was hard at first, with prospects such as Halo 3 and The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion tempting my resolve (the prequel to the latter was one such game that I happily afforded my summer days to) but I stayed strong. While others were flying through space with Cpt. Sheppard and the Normadie, I satiated my urges with Snood. I went four years without updating, which in GeekYears is actually 12.5663706 years. However, recently, in a calm and informed decision, I bought an Nintendo Wii. I chose Wii because I knew it was 'family friendly' and although I don't have children, my parents are quite juvenile (and fittingly love Wii Sports) but that wasn't the only reason. To put it to you in DEA terms: Xbox 360 was the uncut, black-tar heroin my veins were craving; Wii being a prescription dose of morphine. I knew that the Wii's lack of good games, combined with its natural dis-appeal to my demographic, I would be safe from relapse. Unfortunately, I was right.

The Wii is essentially a game boy: Sure it'll entertain you in a pinch, but the graphics are all crappy, and the games are never quite as good as REAL games. And if one more person tells me I'm wrong about the game situation, then cites a game with the words "Mario" or "Super" in the title as their justification, I'm going to punch them in the throat. If I wanted to be a plumber I would have dropped out of highschool. Let's get something with plot. With action. WITH BLUUUUUUD! Oh man, maybe there's a MOD you could download that would make all the coins in Mario turn into torrents of blood? Hmm, I have to look into that.